Friday, April 21, 2006

damn that tabloid media!

Is there no lie they wont tell just to make ratings!

Ive had to get the lawyers out today.

I dont like to do it, but entertainment tonight goes too far!

I present to you the "news" headline they had today.

"Hercules the Wondermonkey. Islamic Jihadist?"

They then went on to claim my reasons for being in hiding for the past few years had something to do with being in a terrorist training camp in Uzbekistan!

Well, if you check now they have removed this scurrilous article under threat of legal action.
But have thus far failed to post a retraction.

I tell you there are people in the entertainment industry threatened by my talents who wish to ensure my comback does not succeed.

Is it not far more likely that this picture they found of me "at a mountain training camp, armed and wearing terrorist garb" is in fact a publicity still from an upcoming role?

Mayhaps i was on LOCATION in uzbekistan!

Mayhaps i have the acting role of the century.

.... i cannot say more, i'm under a non disclosure agreement from the studio...

but tis a challenging role to play... While i cannot divulge this role, not only for commerical reason, but for safety reason, my career is not in the wastebasket as pundits may say, but in fact, i've bin laden down with hard work and offers of roles.
This is why ive not been on any talk shows lately.

NOT because of *That* Dr Phil incident.


Gerry Adams said...

Don't be ashamed of you're true calling Herc.

We miss you,


Anonymous said...

Dude - just remember to keep you right hand guarded - you breathe through it!

Or is it your left?

Say hi to Deady Bear for me.